My mom has been constantly paranoid. She keeps on saying that she might get laid-off because of economy. She worries non-stop. She calls her co-workers everyday to ask if they started laying off people yet. She tells me she has this negative vibe. I hate it. I feel so much pressure. I start to imagine what would happen if that did happen to her. She's my only parent, where would that lead our family? Would I have to drop out of school to make money? I don't know, all these unrealistic thoughts. But seriously, it's hard. Being the only child, I feel as if I cause my mom to work so hard for her money. I really don't know. I guess I just want her anxiety to vanish. Because that anxiety is getting to me. But something always comes out of something tragic.
My mom isn't as religious as she use to be. We use to be the family that went to church every Sunday, no matter how lazy or tired we both were. Now, she prefers to sleep in & does not consider going to the later masses. She doesn't pray anymore, or at least I don't see her. It's weird because now I urge her to pray over her food. I urge her to go to mass. I urge her to pray before she sleeps. And I always think, isn't it suppose to be the other way around? But now she's so scared of losing her job that she wants to go to mass this sunday. I mean it's for the wrong reason, but maybe it'll start our old habit again. Sometimes I miss being dragged out of bed on sunday morning to go to mass. Actually, I miss it a lot.
Today was day 2 of finals. My easiest finals. Art final was a breeze. After taking it, I tried making an outline for my Western Philosophy but I was too distracted with the guys in that class. Played thirteen with them & they kept making fun of my love fortune game!!! Losers, but they know it was true. Western Philosophy, watched some really odd movie and then wrote my essay. Not really worried about that class, I have a really high grade, so it's all good. Afterwards, Mikha & I went to quicklys to try their chicken, not bad. Went to New park and did nothing. Yeah that was my day.